(Official Diary taken from www.darrenhayes.com)

 

  11th October 2004 - Darren's Diary

So I'm in New York City... It's Saturday and I'm still recovering from
shooting the video for Darkness. As with the album photo shoot, we set up shop again in Manhattan's Hotel Pennsylvania - in the presidential suite - which
has become in many ways the visual 'backdrop' to the stories I have
wanted to tell.


It's an incredible space because it has this kind of run down, desperate feel to it - yet an old world kind of sophistication. Like a tarnished luxury that once was. However you want to describe it, it's undeniable there's a sense of history and
melancholy on the 17th floor and I loved using the vibe to react to in
my performance. It was a 14 hour day and I worked with an incredible team of people
under the direction of the awesome Tim Royes. We pretty much recreated the album photo shoot - but with a spiritual twist. The concept was fleshed out a little more
with the idea that I'm avoiding the 'light' whilst immersed in my 'darkness'. I don't want to give too much away but it looks like it could be a very simple and beautiful piece of film that really sums up the theme of this album and where I
am in my life right now. And it looks pretty too! Haha.

In other news I have really enjoyed spending time with my New York
friends - it's making me feel excited about spending more time here next year! Soon I head off to London again to do more press and then on to Russia for their MTV Awards. I loved
my first trip there a few years back so I've got high expectations. You better be ready Moscow!

Music wise, what do I love right now? There is an artist called Casey Stratton who to me is the male Sarah McLachlan. I love his voice and his poetry. If that intrigues you go to his site and check it out. www.caseystatton.com
Oh... and then of course there is the Diva herself... Miss Anna- Maria La
Spina... who has just released her fantastic debut 'Mine' online. Go to www.anna.com.au if you wanna hear someone who is to me, my favorite live singer in the world.

Wow. I never plug people on line. But these are friends of mine who's
music I truly love so hey... why not?

Now, in closing, apart from my video and the music I am listening to
right now... the most important thing I can say is. Hope you're going to VOTE if you live in America!! If you aren't registered, please do so.
I love America, I love living here, but I can not vote. So to all my
American friends who have the incredible power of an electoral voice...
I urge you to use it.
You could change the world. Please remember that.

Big love
D

30th September 2004 - Darren's New Diary Entry 

So I'm in Mexico City again… I really love this town. Right now I'm in my room getting ready for the showcase performance.

I drove out of sound check today and there was a line around the block - people who had been there since 7 am! Wow... that is dedication. I can assure you I'll put on a good show to make it worth your while. I remember doing that for Prince tickets when I was 17. It was worth it. Still is actually.

So leaving Australia was so bittersweet... it's getting harder and harder to say goodbye to the family. It was probably my favorite promo trip ever. And after 8 years of them, that's saying something. Everything from the label (I fell in love with you all) to the average person on the street... everyone made me feel so welcome and like I was truly 'home'.

Travelling to L.A to work on the video for Darkness ended up being a nice little break, as we've changed locations now, and will probably be shooting in New York. To be honest it was nice having a few days at 'The Grove' - catching up with old friends and sleeping in.

I spent some time in Santa Monica and really chilled out.

Tomorrow I leave Mexico... the land of the giant heart... people are so
warm here. To New York ... where people are equally warm and giant hearted in a
completely different kind of way.

I'm really glad everyone is getting this record. I'm just so thrilled that the point has come across that right now in my life - integrity is all I care about. I'm so glad to have been brave and made this record. So thanks for being brave and sticking by me. I knew we had more in common than you thought.

gotta run
big love
Darren

 

19th September 2004 - Darren's new journal update.

Well it's been a long time since I've written in my journal...so much has been happening I don't even know where to start.

I'll just start from right here, right now. I'm sitting in my hotel room in Sydney Australia looking out on the most beautiful day on the harbor. Every time I come home I find myself wondering why I don't live here!! I keep telling myself it's only temporary that I live elsewhere and that one day soon I'll come home for good.

I'm so pleased that the record is finally on the shelves. This is truly a labor of love for me this time and it's unexpected but wonderful to see that people seem to be connecting with the music and what I have to say.

I had an great time in Melbourne for the first album launch performance, Sydney was fantastic and now it's just on to my home town of Brisbane for one final launch performance before heading off to L.A to shoot the video for 'Darkness'.

Thanks to all of you who have come out to show support.
I love you and I can't wait to tour this baby.

Until next time.
Be well.

Love and light
Darren

LONDON, 2ND DECEMBER

First of all,
Sorry I haven't posted my other diary entries from the recording of the album.
The truth is, there were two more that I wrote and I can't find them on my laptop!
They are hiding somewhere in the deep recesses of my ibook and I swear I'll
find them sometime before my next album comes out. Haha.
In the meantime, wanted you to know that I'm in London (again)
just came from New York and am heading on to L.A to master the album.
I've been playing the record to all of the amazing team at Columbia Records/Sony Music
worldwide who'll be helping me get this record to the world next year.
So far I'm very excited about everyone's reaction and I can't wait to get the music out there.
On a personal note, I saw Fleetwood Mac in concert on Saturday night at Earls Court and
finally met my goddess Stevie Nicks. I have been a fan of Stevie's since I was probably 10 years old
when my sister got me into Fleetwood and subsequently all of Stevie's solo material. In fact, the reason
I wrote with Rick Nowels last time was because of his work on Stevie's 'Rock a little' album.
If you look at the credits on 'Spin' you'll see I quote 'Sara' on there actually as a dedication to Stevie's
influence on me.
If you ever get a chance listen to 'I sing for the things' and 'Has anyone ever written anything for you' off that album.
Anyhoo.. my point is that I've loved Stevie for years and finally met her and it lived up to any 'fan' experience
you might ever want. And I got some great advice.
So Stevie, if you're out there... you're still the poet in my heart.

Lots of love to you all.. I really can't wait to get this record out and see you all soon.
Big hugs

Darren

 

**MONDAY, OCTOBER 13TH**

It is done.
It took 9 months.
But it is completed.
Last night I lay in bed with my headphones on listening to my fourth album in its entirety.
I am simultaneously physically and emotionally exhausted.
And very grateful.

***OCTOBER 6, 2003***

Olympic Studios
London

When I started writing this album I remember thinking that the subject matter was a bit of a departure. Then the collaborators I had chosen to work with continued the theme. Not what you might expect but what I craved.
Now, mixing the record is almost like the third layer of treatment.
The point of view begins to change. Taking a sound that was intended to
be a whisper and turning it into a roar. I'm so immersed in the process now that I'm sure I've lost perspective of what I used to sound like. All I know is that now I'm here I don't ever want to go back.
I like looking at the world through this distortion, through these citrus colored lenses.

 

***SEPTEMBER 26, 2003***

In the studio in London mixing is a f%$ckin' blast.
I'm so exhausted but it's more than worth it. So far we've been spending 14 hours a day here tweaking the sound. We're working with someone who's made records with Bjork, Massive Attack and Madonna amongst others. This engineer is someone I've wanted to work with since forever and the experience is more than I'd imagined it would be. He's taking the record to another level.
Being in amazing studio to mix is a nice change from the home job we were in tracking the album.
When you're at home you don't notice little imperfections like the unplanned pop and crackle noises that have suddenly appeared in our bitchin' guitars.
We spent a good few hours ironing out the gremlins and now we're ready to rock.
More later.
London is getting cold!!!

 

***TWO***

Recording at home has a few down sides. Mostly technical. Because I wanted to keep the whole thing intimate I didn’t want to go into a huge studio with a huge producer. That’s all well and good but it did take us two days to work out that the reason my voice sounded so terrible this week was because I was singing into the wrong side of the mic. That was kinda frustrating and a blow to the ego but a relief that I hadn’t lost the ability to sing (the conclusion I immediately jumped to)
So yeah, I have found myself on more than a few occasions thinking ‘my how things have changed!’... and 'gawd I wish we had an engineer!'
But jokes aside I can’t imagine making this record any other way. The up side to doing most of this in a home studio (a bedroom really) are endless. More than anything I’ve had so much time to experiment and make this record in a bubble free of expectation. Right now I’m not trying to please anyone. Just myself. To be honest, most of this record started off as a side project. I thought I was making this really obscure, dark, and indulgent confessional record under a fake name. Then I realized I was making the right record for me and I didn’t want it to just slip out there and not be associated with the changes and evolution that I feel in my life. I’m going to do it in two halves. The first part will be here at ‘smuglab’.. the home studio I’ve put together in a house in Marin.. and part two will be in London with a few people I’ve been threatening to work with for years. It’s going to be terrifying but so satisfying. All of the co-producers I'm working with are radical. Even the mix engineer I've chosen is an obscure choice, but it feels so right to me. It may be a little bit of a departure for some people to swallow but I got to the point with music that I thought I almost couldn’t breathe anymore if I had to keep all of these feelings and musical ideas under my skin. I'm also so bored with 'pop' music. Whatever that means. Bored with myself. Bored with genre. I wanted to walk away from this project knowing I’ve pushed myself lyrically and musically. Wanted to walk away from the record making something that I'm proud of whether it's considered 'commercial' or not. These days, I think that real is the most important quality. So far so good.

***ONE*** 

I wrote my first song ever on my own today.
It began with this tiny piece of music I wrote on guitar a year ago. I was in Dublin and strumming these chords on a guitar one day singing about the way I was feeling...
“I’ve been down a lonely street tonight, and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Clouds cover up a Dublin sky, and I don’t know what’s left of me, I don’t know what’s right with me..”
And then a year went by. I took a road trip to L.A and right before I went to bed I came up with the rest of the chords and lyrics and the song just finished itself. It’s amazing the way that happens. Right from the beginning I knew what the song was about, I knew it was going to be heavy and that it was going to be the introduction to an album that would take me down some darker and not so happy places. I knew I had to go there.but I was stalling. I’d been avoiding dealing with my emotions and the subject matter for long enough. For as long as I could I had been putting off writing songs for my next album because I knew once I went into this headspace it would be a while before I could surface.
But I’m happy to say that it felt good to open up this old wound.
Felt good to get some hurt out and I’m ready to start telling a story.

Stay tuned for studio updates!  

 

20th January 2004 - Message from Darren 

This is just a quick note to let you all know how much I love and appreciate your support and
most recently your enthusiasm about my new music. Believe me, I wish I could just put the
album out right now and get out on the road and sing it all for you.. but there are so many
other things to set in place before this baby is ready. Now that the album is done, the
behind the scenes team are busy putting together the plan of exactly how we're going to go
about presenting it to you. Just trust me that I'm so very proud of this record and that your
love and support means the world to me. I know eventually this wait will all be worth it.
So see you soon(ish!)

Big hugs and love always
your biggest fan
Darren Stanley Hayes

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